The curse…

Remember in elementary school when you use to have to line up for everything? And orders were always predetermined?

It was almost always determined by last name. “Hey guys! Bobby brought treats for his birthday! Line up by last name and we’ll hand them all out… uhoh there’s only 24 cupcakes and there’s 28 of you! Oh well the kids at the end can have celebratory apples!” (dramatization but pretty close to reality)

For some reason we were never allowed to creatively decide our own order. Loudest belch? Smelliest foot? Fastest recitation of Jabberwocky?! Never. Always last name.

Thus, having been cursed with a last name beginning with “W” I was usually at the back of the pack. Except for that AMAZING day when we would go last names first.

It was one particular day when I was at the end of the recess line waiting for my first grade teacher to hand out our apple juice boxes that I promised myself- I would never marry anyone whose last named came after the letter “M”. I would never saddle my poor children with such a dreadful burden.

And today, as I wait for my Pretrial Advocacy professor to listen to my short argument in support of my motion for summary judgment, knowing that I will be the second to last person (HAHA SUCKS TO BE YOU ZUCCOLOTTO) and hanging out here with a grumbling tummy that I REAFFIRM that promise to myself.

Sign my petition HERE to stop oppression of people whose last names come at the end of the alphabet!

The A-B-C’s of ME!

A. Age: 24. Last night the busboy called me “ma’am”. I died a little.

B. Bed size: Queen. It’s pretty much my favorite possession. Made even better by the fact that I got it for an absolute STEAL from the Macy’s Furniture Outlet (unfortunately closed now).

C. Chore you hate: Folding laundry. I would literally sleep in my bed with the clean laundry all over it if it didn’t make me look like a hoarder. One semester my roommate in my sorority, Krisse, used to put my laundry away for me. She was a great roommate.

D. Dogs: I was super afraid of dogs when I was little. Now I can’t wait to have one. When I finally get a yard I want a husky named Atticus or Learned Hand, something stately and lawyerly. But I also really want a beagle and a french bulldog (brindle colored).

Atticus... or Learned Hand

Atticus... or Learned Hand

E. Essential start to your day: Cereal and tea. I could literally eat cereal for every meal of the day. Usually when I go grocery shopping it’s because I’m out of milk. I like to mix it up but I’m currently working through some honey nut chex… not as good as the cheerios but gets the job done.

F. Favorite color: Purple. But I’ve been growing rather fond of green recently.

G. Gold or silver: Silver. I’ve had to force myself to expand my gold jewelry because I have some outfits that just look better with it. So last week when I found a pretty multi chain gold necklace super on sale I grabbed it. Then the sales person informed me (after I purchased the final sale item) that it was Kardashian Kollection (I’m not sure collection should be spelled with a K there but since it’s the Kardashians and they are the most annoying people… ever… lets say that’s right). I still have convinced myself I won’t get struck by lighting if I wear it.

H. Height: 5’4″. I’m the shortest person in my ENTIRE family by almost 3 inches… I’m also the only person with blue eyes. It really reinforces that “milk man” rumor my family was always joking about.

I. Instruments you play: None. I did play a mean recorder in 5th grade though. I KILLED “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”

J. Job title: Law student. Intern at Scott Free Productions. Awesome blogger! (Too soon?)

K. Kids: I love kids. I often waste time looking at the “adorable kids” posts on TheBerry. I want 3!! Though considering I won’t get married till I’m 64, I may have to settle on being the really cool aunt.

L. Live: West Hollywood, CA! I love my apartment! It’s huge, comfy, close to shopping/bars/restaurants/drag shows.

M. Mom’s name: Kim. NOT Kimberly. My grandfather got into a fight with a nun about that.

N. Nicknames: Jenn. JDubs. Westy. I had a friend in undergrad call me Westicles. He’s not my friend anymore. KIDDING! Love you Cory!

O. Overnight hospital stays: None. I hate needles and hospital stays means needles. I can only have children when they figure out how to give an epidural orally.

P. Pet peeve: Ignorance. Of every kind. People who refuse to do things for themselves. Flakiness.

Q. Quote from a movie:

Marie (Lauren Bacall): You know how to whisper don’cha Steve? You just put your lips together, and blow. (I think this is partially because this is when she and Bogey met <3)

Rick (Humphrey Bogart): Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world- she walks into mine.

R. Right or left handed: Right-handed.

S. Siblings: Younger sister- Christine.

Christmas card a few years ago. Repping the Pac 10!! (now 12)

T. Time you wake up: On weekdays- between 6:45 and 8 (depending on if I go running); weekends- between 8 and 9.

U. Unlikely to hear me say: ¨OMG I’d LOVE to try your fish and portobello sandwich covered in guacamole!”

V. Vegetables you dislike: Broccoli and eggplant. Yuck.

W. What makes you run late: Breakfast. When I’m getting ready in the morning I can skip a shower (sorry world), makeup, and matching shoes. But I can never walk out the door without at least grabbing something.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Lots for my teeth (2 root canals in middle/high school due to sports injuries), and a bunch for my wrist because even after surgery it wouldn’t heal correctly.

Y. Yummy food you make: I really love making homemade oreo cookies! Usually from this recipe. It’s amazing making something so simple from scratch can make it THAT much better but these are truly awesome. I do a lot of baking. I’m sure I’ll post a bunch of it here! OH and my AMAZING mac n’ cheese… it’s lethal (in the best way). Recipe here.

Oreos on the left! This was during my first experiment with them, while also making cookie dough cupcakes, and drinking wine with my best friend Megan (obvs).

Sharp white cheddar, gruyere, pecorino Romano. CANNOT go wrong!

Z. Zoo- favorite animal: Always love the big cats! And the giraffes! And the dolphins… but usually need to go to an aquarium for that!